I have always been with you. Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you. Although you have wondered, and thought I was angry; I have always been here waiting for you to run to Me so I could heal your wounded heart.
You sang "Jesus Loves Me", but your experience was a religion that taught you that you had to be perfect to be loved. Because you felt unloved, and even rejected, you found ways to hide in your mind, and eventually found other coping mechanisms.
Now when others hurt you, it reminds you of the pain of your past. You are tempted to go back and rehearse the pain, humiliation, or anger you felt. It is time to learn new ways. Bring those feelings to Me instead. I am not upset with you for being real and honest about your pain. Ask My perspective of the situation. Very few things are as they appear. Let Me show you what is really happening.
Trust Me with this healing process. Learn to see these situations and circumstances as tests and trials used to strengthen yourself in Me. For surely I will take everything the enemy has used against you in this life and turn it against him.
Jeremiah 1:4-5 Living Bible (TLB)
4 The Lord said to me, 5 “I knew you before you were formed within your mother’s womb; before you were born I sanctified you and appointed you as my spokesman to the world.”
Isaiah 46:3-4 (Amplified Bible)
3 Listen to Me [says the Lord], O house of Jacob, and all the remnant of the house of Israel, you who have been borne by Me from your birth, carried from the womb:
4 Even to your old age I am He, and even to hair white with age will I carry you. I have made, and I will bear; yes, I will carry and will save you.
Hebrews 12:3 New Living Translation (NLT)
Think of all the hostility he endured from sinful people; then you won’t become weary and give up.