You have been duped by the enemy! You must forgive yourself. It is an offense to the Cross when you refuse to forgive yourself. For when you take this stance, you are in essence saying that My Son's blood is not sufficient to cleanse you from guilt and shame. You cannot pay for your sin.
Do not believe the lies of the enemy. He does not want you to walk in freedom. Instead, he tells you that you are a hypocrite if you actually feel good about yourself. It's not your own righteousness that you are putting your hope in. It's the righteousness of Christ that is your inheritance. In this you can and must rejoice!
When you take this posture, gratitude will well up inside you. The enemy fears this. He wants you to bow to a religious spirit, but you must resist by standing on the truth of My Word. When I say you are forgiven, I mean it. Christ said, "It is finished." Therefore, do yourself a favor and forgive yourself. Live in the knowledge of the freedom that was purchased for you once and for all!
Psalm 32:1-2 Living Bible (TLB)
1-2 What happiness for those whose guilt has been forgiven! What joys when sins are covered over! What relief for those who have confessed their sins and God has cleared their record.
2 Corinthians 5:21 Amplified Bible (AMP)
He made Christ who knew no sin to [judicially] be sin on our behalf, so that in Him we would become the righteousness of God [that is, we would be made acceptable to Him and placed in a right relationship with Him by His gracious lovingkindness].
Romans 8:1-2 The Message (MSG)
1-2 With the arrival of Jesus, the Messiah, that fateful dilemma is resolved. Those who enter into Christ’s being-here-for-us no longer have to live under a continuous, low-lying black cloud. A new power is in operation. The Spirit of life in Christ, like a strong wind, has magnificently cleared the air, freeing you from a fated lifetime of brutal tyranny at the hands of sin and death.