Just because you are used to expecting rejection, do not put Me in that box. I have not, nor ever, will treat you that way. That is a vain imagination, and it is a lie from the devil! Only you can refuse to entertain these negative thoughts and emotions. They are smokescreens sent to distract you, to keep you from abiding in My love for you.
My love never fails. I never leave you nor forsake you, even when you are at your worst. I patiently wait for you to come back to Me, the lover of your soul. Believe what I say about who you are and what I have done for you. Self-flagellation is a dead work and will never accomplish anything.
The blood of Jesus has already paid for your sins. Simply acknowledge that you have believed a lie and get back in step with My Spirit. Walk in the Spirit and you will not fulfill the desires of the flesh, which is based on works and not on My grace. Have faith in Me and My Word and step back into grace.
2 Corinthians 10:4-5 Easy-to-Read Version (ERV)
4 The weapons we use are not human ones. Our weapons have power from God and can destroy the enemy’s strong places. We destroy people’s arguments, 5 and we tear down every proud idea that raises itself against the knowledge of God. We also capture every thought and make it give up and obey Christ.
Ephesians 2:4-5 Amplified Bible (AMP)
4 But God—so rich is He in His mercy! Because of and in order to satisfy the great and wonderful and intense love with which He loved us,
5 Even when we were dead (slain) by [our own] shortcomings and trespasses, He made us alive together in fellowship and in union with Christ; [He gave us the very life of Christ Himself, the same new life with which He quickened Him, for] it is by grace (His favor and mercy which you did not deserve) that you are saved (delivered from judgment and made partakers of Christ's salvation).